The Asylum Goes All ABC Family on Us

Perennial creepo and friend of the blog Bill Oberst Jr. tipped us off in his Twitter stream that he was starring (as the villain, natch) in The Asylum‘s first bona fide family film, The Princess and the Pony, which arrived this week on DVD.  He plays a carnival owner who holds the titular pony captive until the eponymous princess, hiding out from, um, other bad guys, befriends him (the pony, not the carnival owner—I could have explained that better).  Anyway, watch the trailer to see Oberst with the best. moustache. ever!

Committed, a blog dedicated in mind, body, and spirit to all things The Asylum (I am just discovering all sorts of straight-to-DVD goodies this week) gives the film—and Oberst in particular—a positive review.

Titanic II or Why We Love The Asylum

If anyone was going to have the cojones to make a sequel to the second most successful movie of all time, it was The Asylum.  Titanic II arrives August 24th with writer/director/star Shane Van Dyke (Dick’s son) as the designer of an all-new needlessly gigantic vessel that somehow manages to also run afoul of an iceberg (and a tsunami!).  Also starring Bruce Davison (that senator from the X-Men movies).

Does anyone else think this film is sorely lacking a Mega Shark and/or Giant Octopus?

Titanic II – Trailer
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You Were Expecting Maybe Shecky Holmes?

The Asylum is at it again, this time mockbusting Sherlock Holmes with their new movie, um, Sherlock Holmes. What, no Shecky Homes or Shirley Bones? Anyway, there are two major differences (okay, there are many major differences) between this and the Downey starrer. One, Holmes fights giant monsters. This can be seen as a valid artistic choice since Sir Arthur Conan Doyle also wrote The Lost World which featured what? That’s right. Giant monsters. Second, Gareth David-Lloyd (Ianto on Torchwood) is Watson, and that’s just cool.

Not for nothing, but this is getting 6.5/10 on IMDb (with 35 votes).

Sherlock Holmes is available now.

To be honest, the trailer does look kind of fun…

No, Really, This Isn’t From Asylum

Star Quest: The Odyssey is a new release from Halcyon International Pictures, and to look at the font at the end of the trailer, it might seem like The Asylum isn’t the only mockbusting game in town.  With titles like…

Metal Man

The Black Knight – Returns

…and…

Quest of the Delta Knights

…it seems clear that Halcyon is giving The Asylum a run for it’s money.

You can buy Star Quest here.

Sex Pot Review: “Unwatchable,” But Better Than Fired Up

As the title so subtly suggests, Sex Pot is a comedy about two stoners who stumble upon an aphrodisiac strain of weed.  R. L. Shaffer at dvdfuture.com has a realistic take on this latest Asylum title, appreciating its embrace of the sexploitation genre while lamenting the simply awful production value and poor acting.  Unfortunately, he was not sent the 3-D version of the DVD (no, really, there is one), and so is unable to comment on that feature.  You have to appreciate, however, that the filmmakers went to all the trouble of naming one of the special features, “Bongs of Darkness: A Filmmaker’s aPOTcalypse.”

Buy Sex Pot here.

Trailer…

Wait, You Mean Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus Wasn’t an Original Syfy Movie?

Believe it or not, Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus is arriving on Syfy (pronounced “why did we change our logo?”) on August 29 instead of premiering on Syfy on August 29. The Asylum, the film’s producer, has actually sold a number of films to the network in the past and is planning on creating original content for Comedy Central, so stay tuned for Mega Shark vs. Carlos Mencia.

The Mega Sharks Are Running “The Asylum”

Variety posts an entertaining profile of The Asylum, the studio behind not only Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, but such “mockbusters” (yes, I will help proliferate the term) as Snakes on a Train, The Da Vinci Treasure, Transmorphers, and – wait for it – Transmorphers: Fall of Man.  Scoff if you will, but they claim to have made a profit on every single title.

Buy
Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus
Snakes on a Train
The Da Vinci Treasure
Transmorphers
Transmorphers: Fall of Man